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Miranda Laine
02 June 2010 @ 02:02 am
So, this beautiful, totally domesticated, fluffy black cat suddenly appears outside my apartment. Some lady who was taking a smoke break said I could have him, he used to belong to her daughter or something, but everyone in the apartment feeds him (he "lives outside" meaning she abandoned him for whatever reason). He flocked to me immediately and is quite seriously the sweetest, most affectionate and docile and good-natured (and beautiful - black with green eyes and a fluffy tail!) cat I have ever met in my life. Wicked and Chewie wouldn't let me keep him because Wicked is deathly allergic and Chewie hates cats, and my mom didn't want another cat (I doubt Kidow would get along with a male anyway) and the only friend I know who likes cats already has three. I feel terrible that I can't keep him, I'm sick about it. I feel like fate brought him to me or something, and I had to let him go. I sat and petted him for maybe half an hour or so until he got up and walked away on his own, then I brought him some water.

Maybe someday I'll not be a total loser and actually have a house so I can make my own decisions about pets. I want one so badly!
Miranda Laine
09 May 2010 @ 03:58 pm
Alright, my plan right now, since I still haven't actually talked to Brandon about any of this stuff (yeah, I don't know) is to
Go pick up my brother in Tally w/ my mom and come back
Go talk to Brandon with him as mediator if he's able, see what happens
Go up to TN with my brother to visit my dad
Come back home and see what happens

I just really feel like I haven't actually talked to Brandon well enough or conveyed what my actual problem is well enough to warrant leaving full stop. I want a chance to actually sit down and explain to him what my issues are and why they're important to me and what I want out of a relationship that he's not giving me.

I know I'm the most optimistic person in the world and to get to this point with someone means something (my moms words, not mine) but I never give up on anyone, ever (said mother can attest to that), so I'm just not ready to fully walk away yet without giving him a chance to at least know why for sure, because it's really not fair for me to not have even talked to him about this and to go behind his back and talk to everyone else about it instead (although I was just trying to get impartial third party opinions, he like me can't stand being talked about it behind his back so it was disrespectful of me to do).

Last night was so weird, I felt like I was dreaming the whole night. I lost my cell phone and my wallet in the chaos, and now today there's this whole drama with my brother, it's just crazy.

I just need a day or two to work things out with my brain and my heart.
Miranda Laine
09 May 2010 @ 02:47 pm
The Perfect Girlfriend.

Yes, she exists. And NO, she’s not the supermodel type with the long legs and perfect skin. She’s even better. She’s the type of girl you’d overlook—she’d be your last choice. At worst she’s insecure, clingy, shallow, jealous, nagging, sensitive, emotional, dramatic, and annoying.

What is a perfect girlfriend? They say there’s no such thing as perfection, and that she doesn’t exist.

Oh trust me, SHE DOES.

She dresses up all cute and pretty every time you take her out on a date. This is her way of keeping you interested as your eyes are locked solely on her. You stare at other girls instead, and she gets hurt and upset that all her time and effort were put to waste.

You call her insecure.

She holds on to you like she’s never letting you go. This is her way of telling other girls that she’s lucky that she has you, and no, you’re not available.

You call her clingy.

She calls you the sweetest nicknames, or ones that only you two will understand. This is her way of saying how special you are, and that there’s nobody else in this world like you. You call other girls “baby” just as how you would call her, and she gets disappointed.

You call her shallow and jealous.

She checks up on you, making sure you made it home safely or that you’re not out getting yourself into any kind of trouble. This is her way of showing how often she thinks about you and that she worries constantly because that’s how much she cares.

You say she’s nagging.

She cries when you do or say something wrong. This is her way of saying “That hurt only because YOU said it and I love YOU.”

You call her overly sensitive and emotional.

She loves you more than you love her. This is her way of dealing with the fact that your relationship wasn’t like how it used to be, but she is willing to make room for more love and some changes. You push her away.

You call her dramatic and annoying.

So go ahead. Leave the insecure, clingy, jealous, nagging, overly sensitive, annoying girl. She will soon be much happier in the arms of someone who actually deserves her: the PERFECT boyfriend.

Miranda Laine
09 May 2010 @ 01:26 pm
So, I left last night. I'm still not sure I made the right decision, but for now...

The past week with him has been wonderful so it was a really hard thing to do, but my mom showed up at the drop of a hat even though she didn't know the situation and she hates driving at night, and that helped a lot. After a lot of crying and a good night's sleep, I feel much better this morning.

I woke up to my brother calling saying he's on his way to Tallahassee with his friends! So I have to go figure out a way to pick him up with no gas, no money, etc.
Miranda Laine
06 May 2010 @ 10:41 pm
Went to the gym for the first time in, gosh, almost two years now! Doesn't feel like it's been that long. Anyway, it was wonderful! I went with Wicked, and he coached me and hung out with me. The fact that he stopped doing that last time, when I was pre-Paroxetine, was a major factor in my decision to stop going, but this time I had no anxiety issues whatsoever! So it was fun to just hang out with him.

I saw Riri's friend J's boyfriend there, the one I met last time I saw Ri (which was also ages ago, I hope we get to hang out more now that I am relatively mobile and slightly less insane). It felt awkward to say hi to him, since he's just a friend of a friend of a friend, so I didn't, but it was still cool to run into someone I know, cause that never happens to me, and when it does it's usually them that recognizes me and I have no idea who they are.

Yesterday, Wicked and I spent the day with Wash. We went to see Kick Ass (which was much more awesome than it seems like it would be) and out to lunch. Later, we and the Savage Flourish crew (minus Bree) played D&D (well, Wicked played on his DS and tried not to die of boredom, I'm sure), I played with every animal there (except the third kitten, who hates everything that moves) and was very excited to get to play with the turtle and horned lizard (a rare treat)! Then Wash, Zoe, Wicked and I curled up and watched Avatar for a while.

Today, Wicked and I went to the mall and the used sports shop for gym gear and scored a used stand-up punching bag for a song, as well as a new racquetball racket. Also, it was really nice to get to hang out with Wicked again. He took me out to lunch and everything. 

Tomorrow, I'm going canoeing with my mother, and she may possibly be paying for my gas and oil change because she's wonderful. I'm really excited because the last nature-y thing I did was getting lost in the woods with Wash, and that didn't go so well... obviously...

In bad news: I forgot completely about a $300 check for my title, registration, and all that, and I only ever buy little things like a drink here, a book there, a bite to eat on the way to fill out applications somewhere, etc. So I used my check card all of nine thousand times in the last week, without knowing that that stupid check had put my bank balance in the negative. So all those $5 charges ended up being $40 each, and now I'm almost $1000 in the red, almost all of which is overdraft fees.

I fail at life, of course, but we already knew this. At least I have everything I need and want for now. However, this means no Metrocon, cause now I DEFINITELY can't afford it. If I had to chose between hosting another nightmare panel at another nightmare Metrocon and going to Wizarding World with a giant group of friends, it's not even a contest. So instead I'll first be saving up to make sure my car is in perfect working order, then to pay back Wicked for my gym membership and gear, and then to go to WWHP.

Anyway, while the condescending bank lady made me cry, I'm otherwise not freaking out about this. I'm not paying their ridiculous overdraft fees. $800 is just insane, I can't believe they would expect a customer to pay that! It's inhumane. I'm paying what I spent and a little more (I'd say a handful of UAF fees' worth), and then I'm taking myself to a decent bank that has a cap on overdraft fees (thank you, Rush, for letting me know Regions does this). It's essentially my only option, since I could never in a million years afford those fees, and it's stupid of them to expect me to. The sad thing is, if I had just not forgotten about that check (I think it's the first check I've written in like a year or two), none of this would have happened. So I'm going to start being a lot more rigid about writing down every transaction and dealing primarily in cash. I'm gonna bury my check card deep in my wallet where I can't get to it. Somewhere down near the BDSM club invite and my Boba Tea stamp card.

Damn it all, now I'm craving bubble tea.

Speaking of food, I'm also starting a strict diet (not a weight-loss diet, but a nutrition diet like I talked about a few weeks ago) and as soon as my Medicare or Medicaid or whatever the hell it's called comes through (it better damn well come through!) I'll finally be able to go to the doctor. Maybe get this cavity filled that keeps me from eating, get my high-cancer-likelihood checkup thing, and maybe get some bloodwork done so I can find out if I'm dying or something.

But for right now I'm exhausted and it's been a crazy day and I've stopped making any semblance of sense so more later...

Also, it's my brother's (Skandrae) birthday today! He turns 21 today, so he went out drinking all day (I got to talk to drunk!Skan earlier today and it was just as fun as it was on the cruise) and was joined by Rush at some point. I haven't been able to talk to him much all day due to the partying. Wish I could be there, guys! I live vicariously through my little brothers. XD

Miranda Laine
25 April 2010 @ 07:51 am
I just realized my brother Rushkae looks very much like brunette Tom Felton... but with ten times the BAMF.

So, yeah. I'm working on convincing him to move down here, ladies XD

Yeah... my family's pretty.

*Pictures are of actual Tom Felton, not of my brother, except that last one I snuck in there, out of respect for his hatred of anyone saying nice things about him. Sorry, but if I were hot I wouldn't be modest about it, I do not understand.

Miranda Laine
24 April 2010 @ 02:57 pm
I got a car, guys! I'm mobile! Woooo!
Miranda Laine
Witches and Wizards Meetup!

Gryffindors, Slytherins, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs... wait, what the hell is a Hufflepuff? Nevermind. Gather 'round! The Wizarding World of Harry Potter opens June 18th, and we intend to attend, sipping Butterbeer and eating Treacle Tarts in all our frilly glory!

A specific date has yet to be decided, so voice your opinions as you have them!

Attire should be appropriate for walking around a theme park all day in June or early July weather, and HP-themed (or generally magic/fantasy-themed) outfits are a plus! I should be able to give anyone in the Tampa-to-Orlando area a ride if need be, but please share if you are able to give rides to others or need a ride yourself.

I also have outfits and accessories in most sizes to loan out to any newcomers who want to participate if need be.
Miranda Laine
22 April 2010 @ 08:24 pm
Girl just knocked on my door trying to sell me steak and shrimp.
"I'm a vegetarian, b ut thanks, though!"
"You're a veterenarian?"
"Well, what about chicken and seafood?"
"... No. I'm a vegetarian. Good luck with your sales, though!"
"Really? Not even seafood!?"
"That would be the technical definition of vegetarian, yes."
"..." *walks away awkwardly*

I feel like I may have been unnecessarily terse, but this was a you-had-to-be-there sort of interaction. I kind of wanted to pick her up and carry her down the street, set her down, and then walk back to my place.Run along, you!
Miranda Laine
22 April 2010 @ 04:47 am
Wicked keeps trying to start intellectual debates by saying stupid things like "If we stopped eating all the cows, what would we do with them?"

He seriously just spent half an hour trying to argue that factory farming and conventional agriculture are better ideas than sustainable/organic farming and moderated animal agriculture.

I hate arguing. I hate "intellectual debates" or debates of any kind. I'm a strong believer that if you care, you should look up the information yourself and decide on your own, not form an opinion based on anything that came out of anyone's mouth. I'm a strong believer in the superiority of the written word. Verbal arguments do not sit well with me.

Wicked is a brilliant person, don't get me wrong, and I don't care at all that we don't agree on some major issues, but I hate that he keeps trying to argue with me and I think that he makes himself sound like a dumbass sometimes and I think he forces me to put myself in a position where I feel like one. I'd rather we be like my father and I, who even though we disagree we share any and all interesting information we find with each other. Supporting learning and discovery is not equal to debate or argument. Debate doesn't educate anyone, in my opinion.